SkyMall

So I fly to Philadelphia in seat 1A. Now there are no first class seats on those small planes, but 1A sure sounds like a decent seat anyway. At least there won't be anybody leaning their seat back in front of me. Well, it turns out that 1A is probably the worst seat in the plane. Remember those old entertainment venues that had poles in strange places and they sold the seats behind them as "obstructed view"? Well, these could be considered obstructed seating. Seat 1A has a wall in front of it such that when I slid my feet as far back as they could go under my own seat (until they touched that underseat bar), there was no room between the end of my feet and the wall. Or as US Airways might call it, "a perfect fit".

Mercifully, that flight was only about 35 minutes. But the flight to Dallas is around 3 hours. How do you fill that kind of time? That's where SkyMall comes in.

If you take the Billy Mays (RIP) type stuff, but remove any shred of practically and any sense of affordability - that's Sky Mall. Sometimes technology is used for society's advancement. At SkyMall, technology is used for absolutely no observable purpose but to waste good money.

Here's a sampling of what I found in SkyMall:



This is just incredible - The things it can do for only $350! Oh wait, it only does one thing. But you can do it without a PC!! You know, a device that does many things. But then you'd have to buy a PC and a PC costs...like $300 or so.




Is it just me or does it look like this is in no way big enough for that dog? So we are talking $260. We had a plastic crate, and we just threw a decorative cloth over it. But maybe this $260 dog crate will actually save you money. Because KC ate every square inch of plastic inside our crate, and once your dog eats the inside of this thing, you may be looking for a new home for him.




"Hey Jimmy, your plant smells like shit for some reason!"




$350 so you can work in your car? A printer stand? No, thanks.



Why, oh why?




Do we need some kind of reminder as to the contents of the fridge. Look, it's a refrigerator shaped like a Coke can! There must be Coke inside! I am frequently disappointed when I open my white mini fridge and find that there aren't any sugar cubes inside.




Apparently, the old garden gnome is not useless (or expensive) enough. The market appears ready for the garden Yeti.




...and the Garden Zombie. What the hell? What other ridiculous garden stuff is out there?




Oh... well...these are actually kind of cool.